10 Ways To Start A Conversation – Last night I went to a blues concert with my friend. After the concert, we bumped into two of his acquaintances. First, Mindy, came up to us and said hello, but then passively waited for someone else to say something. The other, Lisa, flapped like a leaf in the wind and cried to herself for twenty minutes until we found an excuse to leave.
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10 Ways To Start A Conversation
No one in this scenario was good at initiating, much less maintaining, interesting conversations. I bet you’ve had similar experiences, from the person who waits for you to take the lead to the person who starts talking and won’t shut up.
Ways To Have A Better Conversation
The trick to engaging in interesting conversation is simple – stop trying to be interesting. Instead, take an interest in the other person. Here are seven ways to start a conversation that won’t leave the other party with the burden of taking the lead or struggling to find a way.
When circumstances aren’t ideal, acknowledging shared experiences can soften the edges and start a conversation. You probably use this approach all the time without even realizing it. At the grocery store, you remark to the person in front of you that the lines are always longest when you’re on your lunch break. A short conversation flows naturally from there.
The same technique works when the stakes are high—like working together at a party where everyone wants to make a good impression.
Be careful when using this technique. Try your best to remain neutral. “These networking events are so boring!” A comment like if the person you’re talking to is organizing the event or is friends with someone who did, it can turn against you.
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Seeing something cool is a conversation starter as opposed to “we’re in this together”. A positive approach can start the conversation off right. We like optimistic people who direct our attention to good things.
This technique can be a great ice breaker. Who doesn’t like to hear a genuine compliment? You don’t have to worry about the other side to make an impact – being successful is just about noticing and mentioning what you love.
“You did a great job with the presentation. I love how you put everything in an easy to understand way.
One caveat, except maybe hairstyles, don’t comment on physical things. It’s one thing to compliment a new haircut, but saying “you have such clear skin” is going into creepy territory.
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We all want to feel like our opinions matter. Asking for someone’s opinion shows that you are interested in them and their ideas.
Stick to topics that are immediately relevant. It’s a little strange to go up to someone and ask, “So, what do you think about the current political climate in the United States?” Not to mention, you probably don’t want to go down that particular rabbit hole with a stranger.
There’s no better way to show that you’re a nice, welcoming person than by being helpful. If you are in a situation where you can lend a hand, go ahead and do it.
This is easiest when you know you are participating in an event where everyone is likely to have the same experience. When you talk about what you have in common, you create an instant connection that will lead to more things to talk about.
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Similar to asking for an opinion, asking for some help or guidance can be a great way to make someone feel useful. Just make sure that what you’re asking for is something that the other party can offer without too much effort.
Great! Now that the conversation has started, follow the rules of small talk 101 to keep it going for a while. Just remember to be interested in the other person, find common ground and ask additional questions.
But please don’t do what Lisa did and make assumptions. Last night, when my friend managed to get in touch with Dhar, he mentioned that he knew Mindy through the psychology program at the local university. One of the follow-up questions Lisa likes to ask is, “So was your rehab a success?” Starting a conversation at work can be intimidating. We avoid eye contact, turn our heads and pretend to be busy on our phones to try and save ourselves from an awkward moment when we meet someone and don’t know what to say.
And if we muster the courage to look them in the eye, the “hey what’s up, what’s up, how are you” conversation starters kill the conversation instantly. Everyone knows that these words are an attempt to be polite with no intention of engaging.
Ways To Have A Better Conversation (celeste Headle) — Dr. Rich
There are many opportunities to connect with colleagues at work. A few moments before the start of a meeting, lunch hour, coffee break or other water cooler.
You can use small talk to fill those moments of silence, but only a deep desire to understand the other person can create a meaningful relationship at work—what they value, what interests them at work, how they solve problems, what they do Fight with and which comes easily to them.
Celeste Headley writes in We Need to Talk “It seems we rarely talk anymore. I mean, we talk and chat (often via text or email), but we don’t really break things up. We spend too much time avoiding awkward conversations and not enough time understanding the people who live and work around us.
Yes, it takes effort and energy to initiate conversations, to be curious about other people, to pay attention to them, and to try to connect. Anything that is not simple adds great value to our lives.
Start Conversation Archives
Before we talk about what to talk about at work, learn how these conversations add significant value to our work lives and why they are worth our time.
Workplace communication can work like a charm. We are surrounded by interesting people who can inspire, renew, unlock our thinking and give that extra meaning to our working lives.
Starting a conversation with a colleague who knows nothing about them until you find a common interest can be an instant boost for you—how you both contribute to the open source community, your love of problem solving, your interest in system design. Interest, your passion for writing code, etc.
It’s the same feeling as finding someone from your hometown in a foreign land. You instantly click and connect, catch that weak link and possibly connect with the person because you put more time and energy into the relationship.
Ways To Have A Better Conversation Worksheet
The newfound bond adds positivity to your work life and can help you share ideas and learn from each other in the work that matters to you.
Talking to colleagues from other cross-functional units may give you an idea of a problem you’ve been dealing with for a long time. As David Epstein writes in Range magazine, “Great innovations often happen when an outsider, who may be far from the surface of the problem, reframes the problem in a way that opens up a solution.”
Talking to people with different backgrounds and areas of expertise can also help you draw ideas from those areas, expand your thinking outside of your area of expertise, and create new mental models for solving problems and making better decisions.
It allows you to shift your mindset from being stuck as a specialist to appreciating the value of a generalist.
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A meaningful conversation with a colleague can give you a much-needed break after deep focused work to re-energise and re-energise your mind for high-quality work.
Focusing on these conversations when you need them can be a good distraction and help you be more productive.
They can also be a source of creative outlet, helping the brain shift from obsessing over a problem to one that is given to making new connections.
Harvard University researcher and psychologist Shelley H. “Disruption is not a bad thing,” says Carson. If you’re stuck on a problem, distraction can lead to an incubation period. In other words, distraction can provide the break you need to break free from fixating on an ineffective solution.
Ways To Have Better Conversations For Success
The way you see people at work can only change if you take the time to look beyond your prejudices and try to understand them.
Your attribution bias can be affected if you attribute someone’s behavior at work to a lack of character without considering the situational factors.
By working with colleagues and peers to understand why people behave in certain ways, you can develop better strategies for cooperation rather than resorting to fight or flight. A difficult person can become very cooperative when given the opportunity to explain.
Celeste Hadley
Tedtalk: 10 Ways To Have A Better Conversation By Celeste Headlee Worksheet
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